


Lavender Bones

by aroundu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Second Year Twins, Takes place during !!, for them, it's crying time, maybe for you too, setsubun is mentioned, they talk things through!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25157761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroundu/pseuds/aroundu
Summary: “I just wanted to say thanks for opening up more. I think it’s good that you stopped keeping things to yourself and you haven’t-” Yuuta’s voice cracked, and when it returned there was a tremble in it. “You haven’t been hiding anything. You would tell me if anything was going on, right?”
Relationships: Aoi Hinata & Aoi Yuuta
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31
Collections: 2wink





	Lavender Bones

**Author's Note:**

> this is an unused scene for one of my other fics but it was decently long so i figured i could clean it up and share it.  
> some notes that i wrote it before music came out so i just assumed the twins we're rooming together, also the child abuse is mentions of the past, but yuuta does say a line that directly references it. also a Small hunger mention. general aoi twin angst. umm and yeah setsubun is mentioned so, lots of talk abt hinata's past suicide attempt.  
> ok i think thats everything enjoy

“Hey, Aniki?”

“What’s up?”

The twins were walking back to their dorm room when Yuuta stopped walking, making Hinata pause beside him. His brother’s brows were knitted in a serious expression, and Hinata worried about what could be sending Yuuta into such deep thought.

“Second year has barely started, but it already feels like we’re so much older.”

Hinata studied his brother’s face, unsure what to make of his words when he spoke in such a dull tone. So, he responded as if nothing was amiss. “Are you scared of getting old, Yuuta-kun? That’s so shameful, don’t you know to respect your elders?”

“Aniki.” Yuuta’s face didn’t brighten at all from the joke, though Yuuta rarely entertained Hinata’s antics. “I just wanted to say _ thanks _ for opening up more. I think it’s good that you stopped keeping things to yourself and you haven’t-” Yuuta’s voice cracked, and when it returned there was a tremble in it. “You haven’t been hiding anything. You would tell me if anything was going on, right?”

Hinata knew by the hiccup in his voice that tears were going to be coming soon, so he wrapped his arms around his brother in a motion that came as natural as breathing after years of practice. Yuuta’s head rested on Hinata’s shoulders and he felt the beginning wetness of tears on his sweat-soaked shirt he wore during practice.

“Did something happen?” Hinata murmured, rubbing circles into Yuuta’s back.

“I was just thinking of- you know. The roof.” Yuuta sniffled. “I want to believe you’re better, but sometimes I doubt-” he was cut off by a hard sob tearing itself through his throat and his body trembled.

Hinata pulled himself away from Yuuta and silently tugged his arm to guide him back to their dorm room, since it wouldn’t be ideal if anyone passed by to hear conversation about such a sensitive topic. Once they got there, Hinata grabbed some tissues off his desk and handed them to Yuuta who blew his nose.

Yuuta climbed onto his bed and stared at Hinata with teary green eyes until he sat down next to him. It brought Hinata back to their younger days; after a long, tiresome day of street performing from dawn to dusk, yet still not having made enough to buy food for dinner so the only option was to go to sleep early and ignore the hunger pangs. Or after school and another day of being outcasted and called freaks. All they had was each other. 

“I have nightmares about that day.”

Hinata closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. “I’m sorry.”

“I can never grab you in time.” Yuuta’s hands covered his face as he hiccuped through his returning tears. “It’s always- I can’t stop seeing it. And I know we’ve talked about it over and over, but I have so much fear that if you keep it from me before you’ll do it again.”

“I won’t. I promised.”

Yuuta lifted his face from his hands and his pained face contorted in anger. He grabbed Hinata’s arm in a death grip, fingernails digging into skin and making Hinata wince.

“You’re lying  _ again _ ! I don’t know where you’ve been after school, and it isn’t any part time jobs like you’ve told me. Hajime-kun works nearly all of them and he hasn’t seen you at all!”

Hinata swallowed. The truth was on the tip of his tongue, yet a lie forced itself through first. He cursed his old habits, the ones that led him to the rooftop in the first place, but opening up was so daunting it made him freeze.

“He just hasn’t seen me, you know how he is.”

Yuuta twisted his arm to reveal a dark purple bruise on Hinata’s elbow that throbbed with Yuuta’s eyes boring into it. “What’s this then? Unless you got a surprise visit from our dear father-figure, I’m very interested in what you’ve been doing to get so beat up lately.”

“I’m sorry.”

More tears fell from Yuuta’s eyes but his face remained stern. “Sorry isn’t an explanation.”

“It’s nothing serious, I swear. I’ve just been practicing on my own and I’ll lose focus and fall.” Hinata pulled his arm away with a strong jerk, ignoring the sting of Yuuta’s nails trying to remain dug in. His heart ached with sadness, but it was so much different than before, much heavier with guilt and the weight of Yuuta’s tears.

“If it’s nothing serious, why hide it? You say you were just doing independent practice, but with the amount of hours I can’t account for, I bet you’re breaking yourself.” Without Hinata’s arm to dig into, Yuuta’s hands clenched into fists on his lap.

Hinata didn’t have time to come up with a response as Yuuta continued on. 

“You’ve been off for a bit now. I really thought, well, I hoped everything was getting better. I hoped you were happy again, but lately I don’t see my brother anymore. The only time I see him is in my dreams when he’s falling. I don’t know if it’s something I did, or if you’re just having some emotional episode, but you need to talk to me.”

He wasn’t sure what it was that his brother said or even if it was just the way he could say all these strict things with tears running down his face, but Hinata jumped up off the bed and turned to his brother. Something burned in his chest, like his heart was aflame with a rage he didn’t know he could possess, yet it didn’t burn to scar Yuuta. It only circled Hinata, keeping others out, and himself locked in with his self-hate.

“Talk, huh? You want me to talk? I guess you could say I’m going through an emotional episode! I don’t know why, but every single emotion I feel feels like it will choke me. I was so used to being desensitized and not giving any care to how I felt and I was okay like that! I was content just burying it all! But now, everything is cut open and I’m bleeding so much and any moment I’ll die from how much I  _ feel _ everything.

“I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to handle all my emotions and I can’t- I can’t just bottle it all up anymore like I used to, because you broke that dam and everything has flooded me! I can’t-” Hinata blinked away the tears that spilled over, the wetness on his cheeks shocking him enough into silence. 

Years… It’s been years since he’s cried. But he felt that with each heavy drop that rolled down his face, it washed over his flickering rage to leave it nothing more than a whispering ember. With that gone, his strength also left him, and he was on the floor shaking before he could realize it.

Yuuta joined him on the floor, sobbing in equal force as Hinata. Hinata tried not to think too hard that when it came to crying, he sounded so raspy like he’d been buried underground for a hundred years and was now trying to breathe fresh air. He tried not to compare his ugly rasps to the whimpering cries of his brother. Their arms circled around each other and they held each other as they let out all of their anguish. Hinata didn’t try to speak except for whispering apologies over and over like a dead man praying before God, and Yuuta held him tighter with every one, welcoming them like God welcomes a dead man to heaven.

Catharsis through crying was something Hinata had never done before, and it’s no wonder that after years and parading around as a happy-go-lucky kid that he ended up in such a perilous situation. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to be smart with his emotions and control them in a healthy way instead of burying everything bad he felt since things like that were pointless. 

But he wanted to try. He doesn’t want to force himself to be occupied with some odd job every moment of the day just to distract himself from how useless he feels. He doesn’t want to feel like some vague shadow, someone who’s lost their colors of existence. 

He wants to be Hinata Aoi. An idol of 2wink. Someone who’s worked hard to get where he is, overcame odds stacked against him, and a person who deserves the happiness he’s longed for. The happiness that’s sitting all around him in Yumenosaki, one that he just has to open his heart to.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u moto for reminding me i had this in my wips bcuz i honestly forgot.  
> title of the fic is from the song ["Lavender Bones"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-Y5qCHrOXI) by Stand Atlantic  
> and u can find me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA)


End file.
